Saturday, January 10, 2015
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
I have to find or carve out a better time to do this. I end up doing it on my iPad right before I go to bed, rushed because I haven't thought of anything to write and because I want to get to bed. That isn't conducive to anything interesting ... Oh well, I have to go get some sleep
Monday, January 5, 2015
Sunday, January 4, 2015
Saturday, January 3, 2015
I don't know what makes someone a nice person. A lot of people tell me they think I am a nice person. The usually do it as though they themselves are surprised by it, like they never would have guessed I was until they got to know me. I can see why they say it. Few know me that well, many that do know me through my son (they have kids who play with my kids, that kind of thing) and I help out at school a lot and I am pretty good with kids. I do other nice things too, I am usually willing to do most anything someone asks of me (drive them to the airport, help move furniture, that kid of thing). So if actions determine "nice" I have a few attributes that would put me in that category.
Of course, I am not nice, not really. The truth is I am polite and I am definitely not cruel, but I don't really like people. I don't necessarily hate people (more on that in a minute), but most annoy me to one degree or another and those that don't I am pretty ambivalent toward. I have loved one's and friends, people I sincerely enjoy, and I am certain that I would have more (people I find interesting, that is) if I gave more people the chance, but I don't and honestly I don't care to and frankly I don't know why most interesting people would find me particularly interesting.
This is all a long and convoluted way to get to what I wanted to write about, confrontation. There are things people do that make me irate, most deal with day to day narcissism. The parents that are in a hurry so they break the drop off rules at school because the line is too long. The drivers that cut people off and ride their bumpers because the world isn't speeding like they want to. People that put blinders on to the world and only see what they want and somehow think that want should move them to the front of every line. It drives me nuts. I doubt more than a day or two ever goes by where my wife (she shares the same disdain for these actions) and I don't share a story of someone we saw doing something that we find shockingly rude, if not worse (if you share this disdain you are no doubt nodding your head). But I never, EVER, say anything to the offenders. I have never yelled at someone I didn't know for being an asshole. I have never cleared my throat loudly to let people know I am seeing their rude acts. I just keep my head down, seethe inside and complain about it later. I started to think about it tonight and I had to wonder why. Why don't I try to right these wrongs? Because I can't.
Confrontation is the fuel that feeds some people, but when does confrontation ever work. Sure, there are times when it becomes necessary because someone else is making it impossible to avoid, and there are certainly professions that are built around a civil form of confrontation, but in the day to day real world what does it do?
My wife was sick a few weeks back and she needed to run into a store to grab something. The fire lane for this store has become a de facto waiting spot for cars, as long as a driver stays in the car and moves it if the store is helping someone load or unload and you don't stay too long so others needing to drop someone off to run in can use the area as well. Is any of this technically legal? Of course not (which is why I am not saying the name of the Costco where we all do this) but it has kind of become an accepted practice. So, back to my wife, she runs in and my son and I wait. After a minute (literally) and older man is pushing his cart, stops and knocks on my window. I roll it down and he proceeds to tell me that I am breaking the law and being rude. I briefly explain that my wife is coming right back out, he doesn't care and I roll my window back up while he is in mid sentence because … what the hell was the point? The old man didn't accomplish anything, I didn't move, I didn't feel guilty and you still can't go to that Costco on a weekend without seeing at least three cars waiting in the fire lane. If I had argued back I wouldn't have accomplished anything, he would have still thought I was a rude ass and been sure he was justified in his actions. The whole process was meaningless, and it was meaningless from the start, there was no resolution because we both believed we were right.
And that's the thing of it. Who are we going to change? If you're the parent that is running late from work and therefore feel justified to drop your kids off in the parking lot instead of waiting 3 minutes to drop them in the drop off zone my telling you you shouldn't do that won't stop you next time. With most sincerely rude behavior either the person is aware of their actions and think they are justified or they are making an honest mistake, either way pointing out the action will accomplish nothing … right?
I hear this and I wonder if this is a kind of depressing way to look at the world. I think its true but Im not even sure if its right.